Woohoo! It’s the spookiest time of the year- Halloween!  

Along with all of the fun costumes and decorations that come with Halloween, I know a lot of parents also stress because it’s one of the major candy-focused holidays.  

If you have charged feelings around sugary foods (such as fear/anxiety/confusion), they are completely understandable given the amount of fear mongering there is around sweets, as well as the immense pressure on parents to limit their child’s consumption of added sugar.  

Rest assured, sugary foods can absolutely fit into a healthy diet and lifestyle and do not need to be feared. 

The trending tradition this year is the “Switch Witch,” where kids leave most of their candy out for the witch to come and switch it for a toy.  This is one strategy among others to limit children’s intake of candy and added sugar.  And if this is a tradition that you want to participate in, of course, that is your decision to make. If your child has food allergies, this certainly might make the holiday more fun for them,    

But although taking away or restricting your child’s intake of candy may sound like a positive or helpful way to approach it for the sake of the child’s health, it can actually be doing much more harm than good, even if it’s not immediately apparent. 

Adults who were restricted from their Halloween candy as kids know all too well of the long-lasting and detrimental consequences to their relationship with food. 

In this article, I explain why the restriction of Halloween candy backfires and how we can approach candy with our kids to nurture a healthy relationship with food for a lifetime.  

• How dietary restriction backfires
• A way to manage candy with more structure and less restriction
• How you can prepare for this all year round
• How we talk about candy matters, too 

Restriction Backfires  

A Strategy to Manage Candy with Less Restriction and More Structure

Finding the balance between having complete control over your child’s intake and having absolutely no control or structure is more difficult than one extreme or the other.  Here are two things to keep in mind: 

Firstly, kids need to have opportunities to eat as much candy as they want.  These are valuable experiences for them to learn what feels good and what doesn’t feel good in their body. And they don’t need us harping on and on about “that’s too much!” or “too much candy will make you sick!” Just let them have the experience, show sympathy if they overeat, and reassure them that their body knows how to handle it and they’ll feel better soon.  

Secondly, kids also need structure.  They need set (but flexible) eating times to take care of their hunger and satisfaction.  They also need times when they are not eating so they can do other important things while not thinking about food.  Kids thrive with eating when we do our job in feeding. 

So how can we achieve that sweet success with less restriction and more structure when it comes to Halloween candy? 

Here’s what it can look like: 

• Day 1 (Halloween night): let them dump, sort, count, and eat as much candy as they want. 

• Day 2:  Let them do the same.

• Day 3 and thereafter: Have them put it away (or put it away in a cupboard for them if they are younger) until meal and snack times. Let them pick a couple pieces to eat with meals and let them have as much as they want at snack time.  You can add in other foods alongside the candy at snack time. But once the food is served, it’s up to the child to decide which of those foods to eat or not, and how much with no pressure from the parent or caregiver to eat in a certain way. This is called an add-in, pressure-off approach. 

As your child gets older and wants to manage their own stash, allow them to do so if they can handle those couple of meal and snack time rules (which are more about structure).  If not, then you can manage it until they are capable of following the rules.  

Please note that this structure shouldn’t be rigid. Having flexibility in your feeding routine is actually very important.  If your child asks for candy outside of a meal or snack time, your answer can certainly be “yes.” It’s also okay to say “no,” but the reason for your answer and the way you say it matters in helping your child develop a healthy relationship with food.   If you say “yes,” try to be aware that you aren’t saying yes because you are using food as a reward for good behavior or for eating something “healthy.” The reasons for saying “yes” to their request might be because they have permission, an appetite for it, and it’s available.  A reason you might say “no” is because it may not be an ideal time (such as right before dinner). 

Preparing for Halloween All Year Round

Handling Halloween candy will be easier if you prepare all year round because it’s definitely not the only time your child will see candy.   In using the Satter Division of Responsibility (sDOR) (which is the feeding strategy I teach my clients), sweets are made a regular part of life by incorporating them into meals and snacks.  

You can do this by (1) serving dessert right along with dinner and (2) serving sweets like cookies and milk for a snack from time to time and let your child have as many as they are hungry for.  If you are just starting out with this, your child may eat many cookies at first, but over time, it will lose its “special factor” and they will eat as many as they need to truly satisfy them. 

The main goal is not to get your child to eat less, but to neutralize food so they can truly listen to their body and respond accordingly.   When sweets are around regularly, the child learns to be relaxed and matter-of-fact about them and they will eat them moderately.  When the child is restricted, they will eat a lot of them even if they’re not hungry.  The child may also beg, whine, and sneak to get these foods that have become “forbidden.”     

How We Talk About Candy Matters, Too

Lastly, we all need to be aware of how we speak about candy.  When serving candy, use the same neutral voice that you would use when you serve any other food.  “Here’s your broccoli” should sound the same as “Here’s your candy” with a neutral, even-toned voice. We want to send the message that all foods are equal.   

Also, do you use moralistic words like “good” and “bad” to describe foods?  Calling a food “bad” can cause feelings of guilt.  Guilt is a feeling that comes from breaking a moral code and we are not morally “good” or “bad” people for eating any food.  There should be no guilt associated with eating.  

I also wouldn’t recommend the term “junk” when describing food which implies it has no purpose.  This not true. A very good purpose for food is providing pleasure.  In our culture, which is hyperfocused on “wellness,” we often forget that we eat for more reasons than just nutrition. And pleasure is a big one.  Halloween candy provides pleasure for most kids, so let’s not use words like these to describe it. 

Try calling food what it is. Food is food. A KitKat is a KitKat and an apple is an apple. 

In Summary 

• Let your child fully enjoy their candy with no restrictions on Halloween night and the day after (and even the day after that if you want) 
• Then start with structure: 
  • A couple of pieces of candy with meals 
  • As much candy as they want at snack time (often with other foods that you decide to serve).  
• If they can follow those rules, then they can keep their candy (if they’re old enough- I don’t suggest letting little ones keep or eat candy or other food out of their parent’s sight)
• If they can’t follow the rules yet, then you must manage the candy until they can.
• Prepare for this all year round by regularly serving sweets with meals and snacks
• Speak neutrally about all foods  – this is really important! 

My main goal is to let you know that it’s okay to relax about having candy in the house and let it become a regular part of your child’s life so they don’t feel deprived and end up obsessing over it long term.  I know you want your child to be healthy (so do I!), but keep in mind that having a healthy relationship with food is part of healthy eating.  I find it helpful to have the mindset of adding foods in instead of taking them away.  Kids need to be exposed to a variety of foods- the veggies and the chips, the fruit and the candy, the cupcakes and the kale (or whatever food your family enjoys).           

I know all of this can be tricky at first, but you got this!

Need More Support?

If you want more support in feeding your child such as…

• How to handle sweets
• How to support your child in learning to like a variety of foods 
• How to promote a healthy relationship with food 
• How to maintain their intuitive eating skills or return to them 
• How to make sure they are getting enough nutrition to grow and thrive  

…I offer one-on-one virtual nutrition counseling so we can turn your confusion/stress/worry/doubt into confidence.  Go to my “Work with Me” page to learn more. If you think you might be a good fit, fill out an application at the bottom of the page or send me an email at theknowledgetonourish@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you!

**Disclaimer: This post and blog is for informational and educational purposes only and isn’t a substitute for individual medical or dietary advice.